Sex By Schedule – the latest in our Sex Tips series. Short suggestions to help you get the most out of your time on our sheets.
On The Sheets Today
Sex by schedule.
What is it?
Modern life is busy. Extremely busy. No more so than at the end of the year.
Darker days, multiple holidays, and the increased working hours and spending commitments that come with this leave many of us strapped for time.
Add to that children, Christmas parties, and other business committments and most people are typically too tired come the end to even begin to think kink, or even a quickie.
But sex and intimacy are important. They are often one of the foundations of many relationships; a way to forget about everything and everyone else and to spend time purely bonding, indulging in our own pleasure, and sharing a space to do that in. Take that away and things can often become strained, as frustration and communication barriers come in.
That’s where sex by schedule comes in.
It may not sound incredibly romantic planning in sex at first but, really, why not?
We plan dates, after all, and those are some of the most thrilling, butterflies-in-the-stomach and memorable events in a relationship, especially in the beginning stages of a relationship.
Engagements are also usually planned too, albeit only on one side.
The reason being, in both cases, that to do something significant it’s often important to do it right, and that requires planning.
Planned dates also give lovers something to look forward to and act as a demonstration of the mutual commitment people have to a relationship, all good things.
So, is it really a bad thing if we need to do this with sex every now and then?
We’d say no!
In fact, why would we not want to bring all of the brilliant benefits of a planned meeting in to the bedroom. More time and space for planning means more potential for fun, after all, and if you’re busy and pining for action then this could be just what you need
Our ‘How To’ Advice
- The first step, as always, is communication. Sit down with your partner and explain that you feel like you’re both going through a busy time and that you’d like to honour your relationship by making sure you make space for sex. Highlight the above benefits if needed and work through any issues of emotions either of you may have. This is the most crucial part to the ongoing success of scheduled sex
- Next comes the fun part. Sit down together and look at your schedules to find the times and days/dates for your scheduled sex sessions. Talk about what you’d like to do during the times, decide who is going to lead on each slot, or keep it spontaneous. Alternatively have a mix up of ideas that you bat between each other. This is the oral foreplay before your schedules and sets up a sense of excitement for it all rather than dread.or commitment. This is time to enjoy, after all, so treat it as such.
- When you’re getting close to your date (perhaps on the day) send a few cheeky messages or flirtations each way to prime yourself for what’s to come. Get excited and get your partner/s excited. Just remember to keep it SFW if needed (which adds even more creativity).
- Buy little treats and toys for the evening if appropriate, or go for an extravagant treat. If you’re leading then make sure you plan the session out a bit in your head but allow room for space an exploration. Remember: Plans always go awry, planning rarely does.
What Are The Key Benefits?
- Making time for sex will allow you to maintain a level of physical, emotional, and romantic intimacy that can otherwise get easily neglected during busy periods.
- A different approach to sex means new and exciting ways to explore your relationship dynamic; what works, what doesn’t, what you look forward to and how you respond as a partner in certain situations.
- The extra notice before the sex session will allow you to buy any kit or plan any intricate details you might need to.
- This means it’s actually better (arguably necessary) for larger BDSM, kink, or fetish play sessions, which will always require a degree of forethought.
Some Extra Tips
- Take these sessions seriously! They are just as important in your schedule as a business meeting, extra work hours, or your kid’s football practice (if not more so) so don’t act as if they’re an ‘in pencil’ part of your schedule. Write these sessions out in god damned permanent marker. If you start to bail the you’re playing with your partner’s emotions, expectations, and trust. These are relationship killers so don’t do it. It’s a slippery slope.
- Have a pre-planned code word or situation, if needed, that you can use as a firm commitment to dodge others trying to take up the slot. Eg. “Sorry Sharon. I’d love to come to your extreme dancing knit-a-thin evening but I’ve got account taking scheduled for that time. Such a tragedy that they clash.”
- Do your accessory shopping together in advance, if you wish. If you can sneakily do this while otherwise committed then it will be all the more thrilling.
Bringing In The Sheets
- Use our sheets as a visual tease for what is planned. Lay them out on your bed the day of your sex schedule for your partner/s to see. Not only will this excite them but it will also get you in the right mindset too.
- Plan an entire session yourself around using our sheets. We invite you to get creative here and would love to know what you got up to with them (if you’re daring enough to share).
- If you don’t already have our sheets then scheduled sex might be the perfect time to order them in advance.and then surprise your partner/s with them. Only the best for a scheduled sex session, after all.
Best Used For
Busy individuals. Those who feel they’ve been lacking in intimacy. Those who like the feeling of dates and want to get a bit more sex-specific with them.